Let go of mind-blowing states
After that first big glimpse of enlightenment where for weeks I felt at one with the universe, I crashed. The old me returned full force. Habitual fears, judgments, and crabbiness swept in with blowtorch ferocity.
Only years later, after repeatedly trying to relive that experience, I saw it was no big deal. My attempt to grab hold of it again only made me more full of myself. That glimpse of enlighten- ment turned out to be an albatross.
Eventually I learned to dimiss white lights and transcendent states as fleeting and unreal. What’s real is the presence that’s always here.